Most of All

So, I've lost 9.5lbs so far. Yay! I'm celebrating and pondering at the same time. Over the last month I've come to realize that what I want most of all, even more than losing weight, is to break my love/hate relationship with food. Addiction, obsession, whatever you want to call it, food has always been on my mind, whether it's thinking about what I'm going to eat next or thinking how much I don't want to eat because I don't want to gain weight. Whether I realized it or not, food has controlled me as evidenced by the fact that I engaged in mindless eating by turning to food to relieve my anxiety or stress.

So, I started this weight loss journey with a disciplined approach: I would consume 1000 calories per day and walk for 40 minutes per day, 4 times per week. I had a plan, I followed the plan, and three weeks into the plan, I realized it was all wrong. Why? Because it's the same plan I've followed before...and failed. Been there, done that as they say.

What brought about this revelation? If I said that God whispered in my ear, people might look at me funny, but I believe it's the truth. That gentle voice said, "What are you going to do when you reach a plateau? How many calories can you cut? How much more exercise can you do?" D'oh! I hate it when I'm wrong and I have to change my plan, but I realized that in order to make peace with food, I needed to rethink my attitude towards it. I am my own worst enemy; food is not the enemy. That's the key that I was missing. Although eating should be a pleasant experience, the primary role of food is to be fuel for our bodies not comfort for our bodies. If I'm still hungry after eating a meal, then something is seriously wrong.

Armed with this new insight, I decided to experiment with my daily caloric intake. I now eat between 1300 and 1600 calories per day and surprise surprise, I'm not hungry and I'm still losing weight. I feel content. I've also been reading about zig zagging - the process of adjusting your calories so that you're not eating the same amount each day. Presumably, this keeps your body guessing and your metabolism going, and it helps you to avoid those plateaus. That was my problem when I stuck to a rigid 1000 calories per day. We'll see if this works. If you are a believer, I'm going to ask that you pray for me. Pray that my primary desire remains changing my relationship with food. Thanks, and God bless.