Moms: Most are Awesome, Some are Special

Mother's Day is this Sunday.  Already?  I'm looking forward to a BBQ and spending a semi-relaxing day with my family.  I love watching my boys grow up, especially my youngest.  He has made such progress.  He started out life by surviving a near-fatal brain hemorrhage shortly after birth.  He has had to grow and learn despite being legally blind, unable to talk, having mild cerebral palsy, and up until five years ago, seizures.  “Special” has taken on a whole new meaning.

I'm willing to bet my next bowl of ice cream that at some point most moms of special needs kids have read one or both of these essays: “Special Mothers” by Erma Bombeck and “Welcome to Holland” by Emily Perl Kingsley.  They are uplifting and they shine a comforting light into a seemingly dark tunnel.  But after reading them for the first time, I was torn between wanting to say “Thank you” and “Screw you”.  At the time, I felt that while they contained much truth and encouragement, I also felt that they were a tad patronizing and a little too sugar-coated.  This was how I felt.  In no way am I assuming or implying that every mom felt this way.

As the years have passed I have gained experience and a changed perspective.  Consider this: I'm willing to bet another bowl of ice cream that many women have said something like this during their pregnancy, “I don't care if it's a boy or a girl.........as long as it's healthy.”  I know I did.  It's only natural; I mean why would you want for a baby to have a long-term illness or a disability?  Most normal-thinking people would not wish that on another person.  Still, this statement can sound insensitive.  How could I love him any less because he's not “healthy”?  Because, I mean, come on.  Seriously?!?  I love my special kiddo not in spite of or because of his disabilities; I love him because he's my son.  Have I ever wished that he was a typical kid?  You betcha.  Am I glad that he's in my life just the way he is?  Double you betcha.  Not one shred of his progress or milestone achieved has been taken for granted.

I know some wonderful, fantastic, dedicated moms of special needs children.  And there are plenty who I don't know.  Ladies, here is a shout out to you: You are awesome!  Even when you are feeling your worst but especially when you're at your best, which is more often than you might think.  Happy Mother's Day!

 

Update 10/22/2010: If you haven't yet seen the blog Uncommon Sense, I encourage you to visit and read the entry entitled "Amsterdam International".  To me, it wonderfully describes the arrival to Holland.