You Sound Like Your Mother

We've all done it.  We've all said something to our kids then smacked ourselves on the forehead and cried, “Doh! I sound like my mother!” We vowed that we would never say that to our kids.  We were determined not to turn into our mother. We promised ourselves that we would be different. It sounds good, in theory, but in practice...

Kids say the darnedest things.  They also do the darnedest things.  So, once we have children, we find ourselves saying things that we never would have dreamed of saying B.C. (before children).  For example, these are just a few of the things that I've said around our house:

• (sniff, sniff) For the love of God, stop giving the dog cheese!
• Soap and shampoo are not optional.
• No, you do not get clean by just letting the water run over your body.
• Sometimes you need to wipe more than once.
• Quit picking your nose.
• The cat is a live animal not a toy.
• If you don't want it for dinner, you can eat it for breakfast.
• Why do you have a pencil in each nostril?
• Well, shove a wad of toilet paper up your nose to stop the bleeding.
• No, no, no. Rocks are not food.
• Sure, you can play...right after you do your homework.
• No, sweetie, that's the cat's food; we don't eat that.
• Yeah, I guess it is lucky that the bird crap matches daddy's car.
• When was the last time you went potty?

To be honest, I don't remember my mom saying any of these to me...except maybe the one about eating my dinner for breakfast.  Maybe I am original.  Maybe I did keep my promise after all.  Oh, wait a minute; just the fact that I even had to say any of this stuff doesn't exactly attest to my stellar parenting skills. Doh!