Technically I'm Not a Mrs.

My husband and I have been married for 21 ½ years. We'll be celebrating our 22^nd anniversary this June. For various and sundry reasons that would have involved a paperwork nightmare, I did not change my name when we married. I also happened to like my name, so I was fine about not changing it. Since my husband is fairly easy-going, he didn't seem to mind one way or the other. My last name begins with R. My husband's last name begins with H. Sometimes I'm addressed as Mrs. H, usually by the neighborhood kids; sometimes Mrs. R, usually by people who know me but not my husband. And what about the children? They have my husband's last name. I still have mine. It's never been an issue.

Most of the time, I don't even think about the name difference. Occasionally, I'm reminded that I'm still in the minority of women who kept their names after marriage...like when I'm on Facebook and I'm looking at my friends' names. Besides me, only two of my friends who are married have kept their own names. Some of my friends are listed as Firstname Maidenname because they are divorced or they never married. Some friends are listed as Firstname Maidenname Marriedname. And some are listed as Firstname Marriedname.

The only time it ever truly bothered me to have my first name paired with my husband's last name was when our insurance company decided to change it for me. For reasons I can't remember, we decided to combine our auto insurance policies by adding him onto mine after we married. The following month our bill was addressed as Hisname and Myname Hislastname, complete with new insurance cards with my "new name". This was problematic for me because legally I was not CH; I was CR. My driver's license was still CR and my auto loan was still in my name. Furthermore, I had not asked them to change my name. They automatically did it for me.

When I called the office to make the correction, the agent's admin just couldn't understand why I didn't change my last name and she wasn't sure if the database could accommodate this request. (This was the pre-Internet stone age of 1991.) Oh hell no. Funny how people react when other people go against the grain and don't do what they think is right. So I wrote a flaming nastygram to the corporate office excoriating their company for imposing their patriarchal attitudes onto me, a paying customer, and reminding them that legally only I could change my name and if this wasn't fixed then the next letter would be from my lawyer....blah blah blah. Never mind that I didn't have a lawyer. ☺ Lo and behold, the next month it was fixed. Imagine that. We've had no problems since.

While I won't go so far as to say that I'm an easy-going person, I really don't care what other women (or men, for that matter) do with their names after they marry. Seriously. I.don't.care. Whatever floats your boat. It's the 21st century, so do what you want. The only judgmental opinion I have on the matter is this: if you think all women should change their names or that all women should keep their maiden names after marriage, then you have control issues and you need to lighten up or seek professional help. I realize that for some women it can be an emotional decision. For me it wasn't. In my opinion, changing your name like deciding to marry, should not be done lightly but rather with careful thought and consideration.

In the Middle

If it's not in all caps, it's not a rant.

Honestly, I try not to complain too much. It's counterproductive and takes alot of time and energy. That's not to imply that I don't get annoyed or that I don't complain; I do. I just try to be selective about what it is I'm complaining about.

If there's one thing that drives me batshit crazy it's when people stop and stand in the middle of the aisle while grocery shopping...with their shopping cart...blocking the aisle. Oftentimes these same people are completely oblivious to the traffic jam they're creating as indicated by the fact that they glare at you like you're an ill-mannered a**hole who's trying to shove your way past them. The nerve. My advice to these people is:

For the love of all that is holy, 

STOP STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE! 

MOVE OVER ALREADY! HELLO!!!

Ser.i.ous.ly. I would never shout this to them of course, because my mother did teach me manners. (And I did go to a Catholic school after all.) In this case, what I say and what I think are two very different things. If that's an example of hypocrisy then so be it. Personally, I think it's an example of self-control. ☺

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

Lucky Number 13

On Monday, I will officially be the mother of a teen. My 12 year-old will be 13 years old. Lucky number 13. Hehehe. Contrary to what some might think I am not afraid of the teen years; in fact, I'm looking forward to them.

Maybe I'm not worried because my oldest son is not a typical kid and therefore is not/won't be a typical teen. This is the kid who when asked if he wanted to go to the first dance of 7th grade said, "I'm not ready for that kind of commitment." Hehehe. That's not to say that I think the teen years will be smooth sailing. But seriously, were the teen years smooth sailing for anyone? All of the drama, the melodrama, the angst: Can anyone seriously look back and say, "Those were the best years of my life!!" I didn't think so.

Alrighty then. Time to board the teen roller coaster, Lucky Number 13.

13  13  13  13  13  13  13  13  13

Fiesta Time!

I am by no means a fanatic, but I've always loved Fiesta® dinnerware - dare I say love at first sight. I was first introduced to Fiestaware (which BTW, it's not really "Fiestaware"; it's just "Fiesta") when I worked at a housewares store in Berkeley, CA in the early 90s. All of the bright and cheery colors made a fabulous display. I ended up buying a service for 16: four in rose, four in white, four in yellow, and four in turquoise. Although I wanted a place setting in every color, the store where I worked sold Fiesta in either boxes of four, 5-piece place settings, or all open stock. Purchasing place settings via open stock was expensive...even back then. And since this was the pre-Internet stone age I couldn't exactly shop around. So, I settled on four colors that I liked.

Fast forward about 10 years later. When we moved from Seattle back to California, I opted not to take my Fiesta dinnerware with me. I reasoned that I could always buy it again. I know, it was a hard decision, but it was alot of dinnerware to pack and considering what what going on in my life at the time, it wasn't something I wanted to be bothered with. However, I did keep my serveware pieces because at the time those were harder to come by.

Fast forward another 9 years later. Today, I am looking at ten beautiful colors of Fiesta in my cupboards. I purchased ten place settings in ten different colors directly from the Homer Laughlin Company. Each place setting was boxed and sold individually. This time around I purchased the 4-piece place setting instead of the 5-piece place setting as I prefer the mug to the cup and saucer. They were running a special where you purchase four place settings and got the fifth one for free. How could I not? I got one place setting each of: tangerine, lemongrass, turquoise, plum, white, marigold, scarlet, chocolate, peacock, and the newest color, flamingo. Finally, I have my cupboard full of fiesta colors. As an added bonus, Fiesta dinnerware is made in the USA. The only snag - and in fairness it is always a possibility when shipping dinnerware or glassware - is that two of the mugs were damaged. I called the Homer Laughlin Company and they are sending replacement mugs at no charge.

I don't know if I'll be adding any more colors to my set or not. Collecting Fiesta dinnerware can be very addicting. I do need to replace my sugar and creamer set as well as my salt and pepper set. Maybe a new butter dish as the one I had broke years ago. And since I did purchase a 9x13 pan in scarlet, then maybe I need a 9x9 baking dish in lemongrass to go with it. ☺

Moonlighting

I've started a new blog. It feels like cheating, but it's not really. I mean you probably already know by now anyway. And if you don't, well it was bound to happen sooner or later. It's nothing personal. I just needed a new hobby. What I'm trying to say is that it's not you, it's me. :-)

My new blog is Coffee Cake Crazy. I know, I know like the internet needs another food blog. But it's not just any old food blog; it's mine. And it's about coffee cakes and nothing but coffee cakes. Just because.

So stop on by and say "Hi". Or you can still say "Hi" here, too. Hope to see you here....or there.

Out of It or Now I Get the One-Day-at-a Time Thing

This is your one and only TMI warning. 

For the last 4-6 weeks I haven't felt like myself. It's allergy season, which basically means I turn into a walking talking phlegm factory. A runny nose, itchy eyes, and a general feeling of malaise does not make for a happy springtime. In addition, my asthma is flaring up, which means I'm not breathing well, which means I'm not sleeping well, which means I feel lousy.  On top of all this, I'm having that-time-of-the-month issues; I will spare you and not delve into too much detail here.

What all of this means is that I feel my fervor slipping when it comes to my weight loss/weight management. It has been way too easy to slack off on exercising. Granted, it's hard to push myself when I can't breathe too well, but I can't say that's been the case everyday. It's also been way to easy to eat out especially when I don't feel well and don't feel like cooking. Also, my taste buds seem like they're asleep, so it seemed like a good idea to wake them up with spicy, salty, or extra-sweet food. Bad idea, I know.

In no way do I want to compare myself with people who struggle with alcohol addiction. I cannot emphasize enough how much respect and admiration I have for those people who overcome their addiction to alcohol and become sober. But I think I'm finally beginning to understand the Alcoholics Anonymous slogan "One day at a time". You see, it's so easy to slip back into old bad habits especially when we feel physically or emotionally overwhelmed. I now realize that when I'm feeling the way I currently do that I have to consciously choose my new pattern of health and fitness over my old pattern of unhealthy choices. I have to consciously choose the new over the old every. single. day.

I've started this attitude today. I half walked and half jogged most of my usual route. When breathing became difficult, I walked. I chose a breakfast of coffee, fresh fruit, and almonds over the muffins that I made yesterday. I've logged my calories thus far to keep me honest. I'm not even thinking about lunch or dinner. One meal at a time. One day at a time.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

It's Never the White Wine...

...that gets spilled on the white carpet; it's always the red wine.

Maybe you've heard or said something similar to the red wine always getting spilled on the carpet. In our house we've also said, "It's never the white grape juice that gets spilled on the grout; it's always the purple grape juice, dammit." (Fortunately, the tile counters in our kitchen were replaced with Corian, so I no longer care what gets spilled on them.) If you're not familiar with this saying, this gist of it can be summed up like this: Out of all of the possible outcomes to a situation, the worst one will always happen. I guess it's kind of similar to Murphy's Law.

For some reason, I've been thinking about this with regard to my eating habits. For example,

"It's never the plate of fruit that gets devoured; it's always the plate of cookies."
"It's never the spinach salad that I overindulge in; it's always the crackers or chips."

Believe me, no one can ever accuse me of eating too many fruits and vegetables. No one has ever said to me, "Whoaaa there, missy, you better lay off the carrots because eating that many is not good for you." Seriously, no one has ever said that to me. Even after losing 50lbs, I wish I could say that my cravings for unhealthy foods has disappeared with the extra pounds. Sadly, they haven't. If something is loaded with sugar, salt, fat, or MSG then bring it on baby, let's have a party!! It is against my nature to choose the carrots over the cookies.

Even so, my mind set has changed this past year. I now realize that I have a choice. It sounds silly because it's obvious that I have a choice. But after nearly a lifetime of making poor food choices and engaging in poor eating habits, it wasn't always obvious that I had a choice. I now know that if I overindulge at lunch time, I can get right back on plan at dinner time. I don't always have to choose the cookies (although today I did); I can choose the carrots, too. The opposite is also true: I don't always have to choose the carrots; sometimes, I can choose the cookies.

I guess the moral of the story is: if you have carpeting, then don't serve red wine.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Yellow is the New Lavender

I am loving my new lavender...yellow lavender that is. I picked this up at a local nursery last year when we were redoing our front yard. I looooooooove purple lavender, but when I saw this I just knew I had to have it. It's called "Lemon Leigh".

I am not a green thumb gardener, so I need plants that are easy to care for. For the most part, lavender fits the bill. My only problem with most lavenders is that they look horrible when they are not in bloom. Not so with Lemon Leigh.  Before the flowers bloom, it kind of looks like rosemary especially from a distance. It held its rosemary-like color and shape throughout the winter and it's starting to bloom now. I hope the color lasts through the summer. So, if you like lavender and want something a little different, look for beautiful, yellow, Lemon Leigh lavender.

Where Have You Been, Young Lady?

I knew I was in trouble whenever my mom used my full name, which back then was "Young Lady".

So, where have I been? Well, I've been here at home, but the boys were out of school this past week in honor of Presidents' Day with a couple of teacher furlough days thrown in to make another winter mini-break (eye roll). Seriously, things that make you go WTF?

On Thursday, my oldest went to his grandparents' house for a couple of days, so we enjoyed a quiet house during that time. :-) On Saturday, we met with our accountant to prepare our taxes - we owe this year; no surprises there. I should mention that my in-laws live a couple hours away from us, and our accountant (who is also family) is not too far from them. So, it was a day mixed with business and pleasure as we had our taxes done and visited with family.

Now that the boys are back in school, my husband and I are trying to wrap up the little details of our trip. You see, he is leaving this Saturday to go to Europe on business. I will join him two weeks later for a Roman vacation. It's getting down to the wire and there are still plenty of little things to be done before he leaves. It's off to tend to business before pleasure.

Off to a Great Start

I have to say that 2012 is starting off with a bang...literally and figuratively. The first full weekend of the new year was spent on the beautiful Mendocino coast. The second full weekend of the new year was spent cleaning up after a car accident from which, miraculously, everyone walked away.

It all started on Saturday night: we were on a late schedule as it was because we volunteered at the 4:15 service at our church and then attended the 6:00 service. By the time we got home, it was almost quarter to eight and I hurried to get dinner on the table because I hate eating dinner after 6:00pm. Bedtime for our youngest is around 8:30 but this was pushed back because of a late dinner. Although our oldest doesn't go to sleep at 9:00 he does have to go to his room at 9:00 so hubby and I can finally have some alone time and some peace and quiet. He took advantage of the late schedule and was dawdling. Finally, shortly after 9:10 we got the boys to their rooms. My husband had just put the dog in his crate and I was in our room getting ready to select Downton Abbey on Netflix when I heard BANG! I knew exactly what that was because I've heard it before: a car collision. What I wasn't expecting was a second BANG!!!! followed by the sound of shattering glass. I headed toward the front door with cell phone in hand getting ready to dial 911 when I realized I was walking on broken glass, barefoot, of course. Shit! Even then, it didn't register that my dining room window had been smashed.

I raced outside to view the accident and call 911, and instead of seeing two cars near each other, I saw one car in the intersection and this car, which had spun out of control and plowed through the sound wall next to my house:

Chunks of the sound wall went flying through the air demolishing our wood fence and breaking our dining room window. To say that I was dazed and confused is an understatement, but I had the presence of mind and the inspiration to run back inside and, what else? Post a message on Facebook with a call for help and prayers. I have mixed feelings about Facebook, but I'll tell you what, it's so much easier and more efficient to post one message that will be viewed by many people rather than make many phone calls delivering one message to many people. Here is what I posted:

Prayers, please! An accident outside our house, hit the sound wall and did some damage to our house. Nervous wreck over here!

I got responses immediately like within seconds. Props to my friends who sent their husbands over to my house late that night to help us board up our window and create a makeshift fence to prevent my youngest son and my dog from getting out. And props to all my friends who lifted up me and my family in prayer. I heart my village!

This was the view the following morning:

The truly miraculous thing was that the drivers and the passengers in both cars were able to walk away. Seriously.

Oh, and the glass cross with the broken base in the first picture? My friend's husband found that on the ground next to the car that went through the sound wall. Coincidence? I don't think so. God was there that night, folks. And that assurance tells me that 2012 is off to a great start. If you pray, I'm going to ask you to pray for the young driver and passenger of the car that went through the sound wall - maybe prayers for wisdom and a lesson learned. And pray that things go smoothly for us during the insurance claims and clean up process. Thanks in advance. Happy New Year!

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4

First Post of the New Year

The boys have been home from school this week. They had a wacky winter vacation schedule as far as I'm concerned: out of school on 12/21 and back to school on 1/9. WTF?!? Anyway, I've been busy trying to keep the boys occupied before they drove me crazy. One of my brilliant ideas was to plan a "kamping" trip before they went back to school; you know, something they could look forward to. Actually, my younger son could care less. With my oldest son, however, the plan worked.

Our first trip of the year will be to the beautiful Mendocino coast that will include a visit to the Point Arena Lighthouse. It's only for the weekend, but I think it will be a great start to 2012. Part of the fun of this four-hour trip each way will include riding in my husband's 1973 VW Bug while stuffing as little of our "kamping krap" as possible into it. Livin' large, baby, livin' large. I promise a full update on Monday.

2011: In Retrospect

As I look back, I can honestly say that 2011 was a good year for me. We had our ups and downs like anybody else, but overall, I'd say that we had more ups than downs. No one was deathly ill or seriously injured. We took some fun day trips; had a blast in Yosemite; and this Christmas was as close to normal as any we've ever had. Sure, both of our cars died, but we replaced them with new-to-us old VW Bugs. And sure, my husband changed jobs midyear which was a little stressful, but it's working now. Oh, and I lost over 50lbs.

I started off the year being mad and discouraged with just enough hope to say, "OK, I'll try it. What have I got to lose?" I had over 50lbs to lose and I lost it. I'm still not at my goal weight, but I am thrilled that I am not where I was last December 31st! Praise the Lord and pass the carrots!

I know that 2011 was not a good year for everyone, so I won't go on and on about how good it was for me. I learned many things this year, but the one important thing I learned is this: if your situation seems hopeless and bleak then turn to God first. Don't wait 20 years like I did concerning my weight loss. Wishing you many blessings in 2012.

Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. Jeremiah 32:17

Junk Food Hangover

It's an unfortunate truth that sometimes the best lessons we learn are a result of experiencing the natural consequences of our actions. Sad, but true. It's a lesson that my 12yo is learning today. You see, last night we went to our church's Christmas party for special needs families. There were cookie decorating stations, a craft station, and plenty of goodies. Of course, he did not overindulge in the grapes, or the mandarins, or the cucumber or bell pepper slices...oh no. He had plenty of cookies and a large slice of cheesecake. He ate like he was never going to see this stuff again. Yeah.

This morning he experienced what I would only describe as a junk food hangover. I told him to remember this feeling because if he ever drank too much alcohol, he would feel even worse than he did at that moment. I felt sorry for him, I really did. I remember plenty of parties where I overindulged and felt the effects the next morning. But you know what? I still had to go to work. Today on this fine Monday, he still had to go to school. I sent an email to the teacher letting her know the situation. I hope he makes it through the day; but even if he comes home early I'm still proud of him for making the effort to fulfill his obligation in spite of feeling lousy.

As I was cleaning the bathroom this morning I said to myself, "It's better to smell bleach than barf." If you say that enough times, you actually start to believe it. Happy Monday!!!!

Fairly Fair-Weather Fan

It's safe to say that I'm an apathetic sports fan. I'm not even sure that I can call myself a fair-weather fan because that implies that I'm a fan only when my favorite team is winning - which in turn implies that I actually have a favorite team and that I pay attention to it. Despite this, every so often something reminds me that I do have a team preference. Like last year when the SF Giants were in the World Series. Or when November rolls around and I'm reminded of the Big Game: that century-old football rivalry between Cal and Stanford.

Now, make no mistake, I actually don't give a rip about football. However, since I'm a graduate of the University of California at Berkeley (aka "Cal", "Berkeley", or "UC Berkeley"), I almost feel compelled to shout, "GO BEARS!" at this time of year. It's not like I go crazy and paint my face or decorate our house and front yard with Cal's school colors. Sure, I have the obligatory Cal T-shirt (as do my children), but good grief, I'm not a freakin' cheerleader. It's enough for me to know that tomorrow is the Big Game and to remind myself to check the score every so often...if I remember. Or at least, to check the news on Sunday morning to get the final score. In spite of this apathy, I will say:

GOOOOOOOOOO BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thumbs Up - Tales of a Clueless VW Club Member

Maybe it's because I actually drive one now, but I'm noticing more of the older VWs on the road. I find myself checking out their paint job and trying to see what the interior looks like, you know, just to see what if any cool accessories they have that I don't. By no means am I a car geek. I really don't give a rat's rump about cars. As long as the car that I drive gets me from point A to point B with relatively few problems, I'm good. Just don't ask me to park on a hill.

I've also noticed that these older VWs get alot of attention, which is funny to me because they are such basic cars. They don't have the latest and greatest anything. They have no AC, no power anything, a death-wish rear engine - they're basically one step up from a golf cart. Basic. Simple. I think part of the attraction to these cars is their simplicity - they are easy to work on and they are easy to modify, not by me of course.

They're also different. There's no denying that their cartoonish shape stands out from the crowd. Kids yell, "Slug Bug!" when I drive by. Other drivers give me the thumbs up and smile. (I'm sure some drivers are giving me The Bird, too, since I pretty much drive the speed limit now.) They're also a conversation starter. People routinely ask, "What year is your Bug?" It's a 1969. "What kind of engine is in it?" F--- if I know. I'm not sure; it's got the original engine. It's fascinating. I'm almost expected to know these things. I'm feeling a little bit of pressure to pick up the VW lingo just so I can be conversant. Here's what I've picked up so far:

I have a 1969 VW Beetle with the original stock 1500cc engine. It's got the rear pop-out windows, which were an optional upgrade. And yes, that's the original color - Savannah Beige. 

How did I do?

H.I.P. Update

Well, another home improvement project has come and gone and I must say that the boys' rooms look brand new. Even without a fresh coat of paint on the walls. Seriously. Maybe I'm just saying that because I hate carpet - that nasty, hard-to-care-for, dirt-attracting carpet. Sure, it comes in a wide variety of colors and textures to match the room's decor. And sure, it's nice to feel the warm, soft carpet under your feet in the winter. But none of this is worth the long-term hassle of carpet in my opinion - especially carpet in kids' rooms.

The one thing that I do appreciate about carpet is that it does act as a sound dampener. Oh well, I'm willing to live without it. The laminate flooring lives up to its promise of looking good, being easy to clean, and relatively easy to install. (Thanks to my hardworking hubby.) It does look like real hardwood, sort of, but any claims of it sounding like real hardwood...I'm sorry, but it doesn't. I had real hardwood floors in my 1918 house in Seattle. Still, I'm not going to rain on my own parade because did I mention that it still looks good and is easy to clean?

H.I.P.S.T.E.R

Home Improvement Projects Suck Tainted Egg Rolls

Once again, we find ourselves in the middle of a home improvement project. This time we are ripping out the carpeting in the boys' rooms and replacing it with wood laminate flooring. The carpet in my youngest son's room has endured several accidents and was in dire need of replacing. The carpet in my oldest son's room was the original white carpet from when we first bought the house. Needless to say, it was no longer white and it needed to go. And no, we did not choose the white carpet just in case you were wondering.

This particular project has been in the works for a while. We knew we didn't want to replace carpet with carpet and wood laminate was our first choice. It was just a matter of  the right time and the right price. Well the right price occurred, which automatically dictated that it was the right time even though it really wasn't. Costco has wood laminate flooring on sale for $8.00 off per box. That's a good chunk of savings.

Quite frankly, it's never a good time for a home improvement project. The chaos and general upheaval that goes with it always grates on my nerves. I'm not complaining mind you; I feel fortunate that we're able to do this. It's simply that for at least one of us, our time is divided between supervising our youngest son and doing the project at hand. And no, we can't always hire someone to watch him. Consequently, projects take a little longer than usual. I know in the end that it will all be worth it - that's why I'm not complaining...too much.

Rushing into Fall

I do this every year. The minute September 1st rolls around I immediately go into Fall mode. I don't fall into Fall, I run into Fall. Out come all of the crock pot recipes, pumpkin recipes, bread, coffee cake, muffin recipes...and summer's not even over with. In my mind, when September is here it's Fall, baby! And that means planning visits to pumpkin farms, apple orchards and all that good stuff.

Unfortunately, summer usually goes out with a bang around here: this week it's supposed to be in the high 90s/low 100s. So much for a cooling trend. I guess the Starbuck's Pumpkin Spice lattes will have to wait a while. Although it is getting a little cooler in the early morning and in the evening; maybe I could slip away to Starbuck's then.

This fall I'm actually going to plant some daffodil and tulip bulbs. I've wanted to do this for at least 10 years and I finally bought the bulbs at Costco a few weeks ago. I might decide to plant some fall blooming crocus, but if I do I better get on that ASAP.

When to Spend

I don't like spending any more than I have to. Well, that's not entirely true; I do make plenty of exceptions to that rule. Sometimes I spend more for the sake of convenience - often this is the worst reason to spend more. Sometimes I spend more because the quality or service is often superior to the cheaper option. Sometimes I spend more in order to teach a life lesson. That's what I did today.

Today, I decided that I had to do something with those brown-spotted bananas in the cupboard. I got the brilliant idea to make chocolate banana bread. Yum. But honestly, what's banana bread without cream cheese? I suppose you could slather butter on it, but I prefer cream cheese. Of course, I didn't have cream cheese. Did I really need it? No. However, I did have a 5 dollar bill just burning a hole in my wallet, and I have an almost 12 year-old. What's the point of having an almost 12 year-old with a bike if you can't put him to work? I sent him on his way up the street to the big name grocery store that I rarely go to. I could have just as easily gotten into my car to go to Winco because I knew that the cream cheese at the big name store would be $1 - $2 more. Sure enough, I was right.

The extra $2 was an investment in building my son's confidence, demonstrating to him that I trust and believe that he is capable of being responsible. I firmly believe that one of the most important things that parents can do is to show that they trust their children by giving them responsibilities and carefully measured independence as they get older - yes, even kids with Asperger's need this. I also believe that parents set the example. I tried to demonstrate generosity by letting him keep the change. I hope he repeats this when it's his turn to leave a tip. If he does learn this then that, my friends, will be worth every penny.

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21

Stickin' It

No, I'm not telling anyone to do anything rude, I'm talking about driving a car with a stick shift. Up until now, I've never had to drive a stick because all of my cars have been automatic. I learned to drive a car using an automatic and it never occurred to me to learn to drive a stick because (1) I lived in a city environment and (2) I later got a job commuting 45 minutes each way and who wants to drive a stick in rush hour traffic?

My husband, however, learned to drive both and so I asked him to teach me to drive the Bug. He graciously agreed. As there is no "power" anything in this car, all I can say is it's a "raw driving experience" to quote my husband. And when I'm behind the wheel and shifting the stick, that's a scary thought. Actually, in fairness to myself I can shift just fine from 1st to 2nd to 3rd to 4th. It's the shifting from a dead stop to 1st that I have the most trouble. In fact, over at Car Talk, they mention that moving from stop to 1st gear is the most difficult. Yeah, no kidding.

Like learning any new skill, practice makes perfect (tell that to my kids when they're in the backseat.) There will be moments of frustration and times you will want to quit. And believe me, I have had moments where I would like to tell this car where to...stick it. Shifting is getting a little easier everyday as long as I avoid stopping on a hill; or congested streets; or pedestrians.